Author: Jerry Schill

Surely everyone has heard of Popeye the Sailor Man cartoon. If not, there’s nothing I can do to help you. I’ll just say that if you know a lot about Taylor Swift and little or nothing about Popeye your life is lacking! When Brutus gave so much grief to Popeye for one reason or other, Popeye would exclaim, “That’s all I can stands and I can’t stands no more!”  That’s when he popped open a can of spinach and proceeded to physically put a hurt on Brutus. It was great!

We all have our “Popeye moments”. Being involved with fisheries politics for 38 years, I became very good buds with Popeye! Combine that with caregiving and you can imagine the decibel level at our house at times.

I do not like to sleep past 5:00am. Every so often I may go till 6:00, but then I consider it a wasted day. Why, you ask? In my mind I still must slop the hogs and milk the cows. I think the time of day right before the sun comes up is the best. Simon & Garfunkel claims that the “darkest hour is just before dawn” so you can read into that whatever you want.

A few weeks ago, I got up earlier than normal, at 3:00am. At 4:00, I began typing an email to some House members about a bill that was introduced by Republicans that we did not like. First, it was a poorly written bill about flounder and incorrectly listed the species as summer rather than southern flounder and addressed red snapper which is regulated by the feds, not the state. More importantly, the measure would have helped the recreational fishery (which is a good thing), but did nothing and could even harm commercial fishermen. The more I typed my email the more agitated, (angry), I became. That’s because we had been addressing our concerns but no legislator was listening. Before I sent the email Pam got awake so for the next couple of hours I tended to her needs, getting dressed, getting breakfast and taking meds. I found myself taking out my frustrations with the politicians on my wife by being impatient and using a non-loving tone when speaking to her. Afterwards, I realized that I was taking out my aggravation on my wife! That’s when I decided to make a change. I called Glenn Skinner, Executive Director of the North Carolina Fisheries Association, and told him I was submitting my resignation to NCFA and resigning as a registered lobbyist.

There is much more to this story but the point is that I had my “Popeye moment.” It was the good Lord’s way of saying, “Enough! Take care of your wife”!

Dementia/Alzheimer’s is a life changer. It is not the end of the world but while everyone knows it changes your life, those of us who are living it sometimes forget that it’s not just our loved ones that change. We need to rid ourselves of the stubborn notion that things are ok. In my case, I kept working my job like it was ok. It wasn’t. We like it when we’re on cruise control with our life and all is well. It’s ok to acknowledge the changes.

Next time we’ll talk about the need for both Pam and I to continue to live, and love life! Differently perhaps, but LIVE!