Author:  R. Alan Harrop,Ph.D.      

Charlie Kirk discussed many issues as he conducted his debates on college campuses during his famous “Prove Me Wrong!” tour. One of the most important issues that I want to address is his effort to save the traditional family. As a husband and father of two children, he was well acquainted with the reality of living within the traditional family. He loved it! Importantly, he realized that resisting a Marxist takeover of this country relies on the strength of the intact traditional family.

The traditional family structure has been the bedrock of Western Civilization for hundreds of years. In fact, no successful country has ever existed without the traditional family. However, Karl Marx and his partner Friedrich Engels realized that they could not destroy the essence of the free market system without first destroying the traditional family. Sadly, there are many signs that Marxism is being successful in its effort to do just that. The family structure that most of us grew up in is no longer what it was. Our parents would be shocked at many of the things that are occurring now that would have been totally unacceptable in their lifetimes. Why does Marxism want to destroy the traditional family? One reason is that they want people to be dependent on the government, not on each other. That is where their power lies. Another reason is their belief that sexual activity should have no restrictions. Marx and Engels wrote that people should be free to engage in sex with anyone and in any way they wanted, including homosexuality. Allowing homosexual marriage in this country during the Obama administration was a Marxist triumph. Further efforts to undermine parents are occurring in some states like California that have attempted to prevent parents from stopping their children from receiving gender altering medications and surgery. The Supreme Court recently heard a case where the state of Colorado passed a law that prevents medical personnel from counseling children and their parents against receiving these horrific treatments.

Charlie Kirk understood this threat to the traditional family and confronted the problem directly as he debated college students. He would clearly tell them that the importance and rewards of marriage with children far exceed any satisfaction and importance of a career, especially for women. He also made the point that marriage between a man and a woman is divinely inspired, as is having children. Here are some of the examples of how the traditional family is being destroyed, and then I will present some ideas about what we can do to reverse this trend.

In 1960, the average age at first marriage was 23 years for men and 20 years for women. Now, it is 32 years for men and 28 years for women; thus resulting in 40% fewer years for having children. The result has been a significant drop in the average number of children in this country from 4.5 per woman in 1960, to 1.6 per woman currently, which is insufficient to maintain the population. Prior to the 1960s, pre-marital sex was frowned upon and waiting till marriage was considered a virtue. Children are now being instructed in sexual practices in so-called sex education classes that encourage them to engage in sexual activity at a young age and before marriage. Living together before marriage used to be strongly discouraged and a mark of shame. Now, cohabiting before marriage appears to be the norm, frequently going on for years before marrying or breaking up. By the way, couples who live together before marriage are more likely to get divorced.

The traditional family was the provider of not only the continuation of American traditions, history,and values, but also importantly, moral conscience development through a religious framework. Children are not born knowing the difference between right and wrong; they must be taught. The failure to socialize children is glaringly obvious when noting that the percentage of children born out of wedlock in 1960 was 3% for white mothers and 24% for black mothers. Now the figures are 21% for whites; and 70% for blacks. We know that children raised without two parents are less likely to complete high school, are more likely to become addicted to drugs, and are significantly more likely to spend time in prison. No surprise here. Parents are the first teachers of their children and should serve as role models of what they should endeavor to be when they grow up. This does not happen except in the intact traditional family. Also, social media is having an extremely negative impact on children. Increased anxiety, depression, suicide and anti-social behavior have all increased with the use of smart phones by children. Australia, and now Denmark, are banning access to social media sites by children under 15. We should do the same. Our children should not be raised by the social media! The increased divorce rate since the advent of no-fault divorce has also harmed the traditional family. Married people not only report being happier, but they also live longer. This is especially true for couples with children.

How do we encourage a return to traditional families? First, we should do what Charlie Kirk did–speak out in support of marriage and having children, especially to our children and grandchildren. For example, I have two grandsons in their 20s both of whom have been dating their girlfriends for several years. I occasionally would ask them when they were getting engaged. Several months ago, one of them asked me what I thought he should get his girlfriend for her birthday. My reply was “an engagement ring.” Let them know where you stand. By the way they are both engaged now and have set marriage dates. Discourage them from living together before getting married. Encourage them to attend church, and do so yourself to model appropriate behavior. Talk about traditional values, don’t be reluctant. We have to counter the leftist indoctrination in our universities.

From an economic perspective, the Trump administration is developing proposals to provide tax incentives and relief for families with children. Do what you can to assist family members with children financially. Why wait to give them an inheritance when you can help them now when they may actually need it more. The NC General Assembly has recently increased funding for school choice. However, they still have not provided vouchers for homeschoolers. This needs to be done, as it has been done in other states.

Let us all make a commitment to follow Charlie Kirk’s example and support the traditional family which is essential to the survival of our country as we have known it. Otherwise, the Marxists win.