Author: Jerry Schill

TREASURE THE MEMORIES 

Last month’s article was simply a short background to give the reader some perspective on our 10-year journey with dementia/Alzheimer’s, so this month I will begin with where it all started. 

It was in the summer of 2014 when our two daughters asked if I noticed anything about my wife’s memory. I replied that I did, although it was nothing to be overly concerned about at the time. For example, when I opened the refrigerator, I would find the ketchup and mustard in places where we typically did not put them. It wasn’t a question of right or wrong, just different, as in unusual. Without me present, the girls talked to their Mom about what they noticed about her memory. When I came into the house after about an hour all was good, but after the girls left the tears started. Pam was very upset that they mentioned to her about her memory. When she asked me if I noticed anything, I lied and said no. I’m not sure that was the right thing to do, but it seemed so at the time. That began a downward trend. At the time we were living in the country about 12 miles from New Bern.  

Two years later, 2016, we moved within the city limits of New Bern and shortly after made an appointment with a neurologist. After the normal oral exam to evaluate short term memory, there was a brain scan. The neurologist went over the results with Pam and me, including the brain scan, and explained about the abnormalities in the scan. She said the diagnosis was MCI or Mild Cognitive Impairment and stressed that it is not dementia, although that was a possibility in the future. Pam cried, and it was a rough few days after that appointment.  

I arranged for a family meeting with the neurologist. Our two oldest, Andy & Amy, attended as Sarah & Adam were unable to be there. The neurologist repeated the same explanation with Andy and Amy. Andy aske the question, “what do you suggest we do from here”? She answered bluntly, “treasure the memories.” 

While those words seemed cold at the time, it gave us the stark realization that things were going to be very different.