Author: R. Alan Harrop, Ph.D

In a prior article, I summarized some of the cultural changes that are diminishing the role of the family in American society. The question remains whether the existence of the family structure is needed in our society. Here are some reasons I believe that family structure is essential.

First of all, we need to distinguish between what is good for society and what the individual may prefer. Let’s take casual sex as an example. There is no question that individuals are not only engaging in sexual intercourse at an earlier age, but are having sex with more partners prior to marriage than ever before. This has been happening because of increased availability of contraception (especially the Pill), changes in moral values, and sex education in the schools. Casual sex weakens the emotional bond (i.e. love) previously a pre-requisite for sexual activity. Instead of “making love” the term “having sex” is a more accurate term. This change de-humanizes sex into a pure physical act like most animals. The higher human traits of love, companionship and responsibility are eliminated. Marriage traditionally was based on these higher human attributes and not solely sexual attraction. A pattern of casual sex can make it more difficult for a person to accept the fidelity required by most marriages.

Another essential function of marriage is the socialization of children. Children must learn the proper social values if a society is to survive. One critical component for a boy is to learn to be a responsible man. This is best done when there is a man in the family that models the pro-social values of honesty, responsibility, work ethic, and loyalty to a spouse. Boys growing up in fatherless homes are much less likely to model their behavior in a positive direction as can be seen by the data that consistently shows that boys without fathers in the home commit more crimes and generally are less likely to lead successful lives.

Widespread access to pornography especially on the internet, has encouraged sex without establishing personal relationships and the normalcy and desirability of multiple partners. Not to mention, the large numbers of individuals who use pornography to satisfy their sexual needs negating the need for a marital partner.

So what can we do to preserve the family? First, we need to remove sex education from the schools, since it encourages and normalizes pre-marital sex under the guise of health and disease protection. Second, parents need to return to the no sex before marriage standard when speaking to their children. Telling them that pre-marital sex is acceptable as long as no pregnancy occurs diminishes the need for marriage. Third, marriage should be presented as a “team” concept where each partner brings unique abilities and talents that supplement each other. Functioning as team members not rivals, increases the chances that the marriage will be more successful than either partner living alone. Fourth, the joys and rewards of parenthood need to be stressed including the positive impact of grandchildren on people later in life. There is no greater positive impact a person can have in life than creating another life. Fifth, re-connecting to Judeo-Christian traditions preferably through church attendance can only lead to a stronger commitment to marriage and family.

Democratic forms of government have a stake in preserving marriage. Removing disincentives to marry like some aspects of welfare programs and expanding tax incentives for married persons are needed. Consideration of eliminating no fault divorce may also contribute to lowering the divorce rate.

The preservation of the family must be a priority if we want to preserve our society and resist the Marxist movement in our country.