Chronicling The Battle With Dementia<\/p>\n
Author:\u00a0 Jerry Schill<\/p>\n
I ended last month\u2019s post with Pam \u201csurrendering\u201d her car keys, which means I\u2019m now a chauffeur for shopping, doctor appointments, and so on. Getting groceries was an interesting experience as she would reach for items we didn\u2019t need. At first I didn\u2019t notice because she would put them in the shopping cart while I wasn\u2019t paying attention. Rather than creating a scene I would just leave it go. I think at one time we had a half dozen jars of olives in the pantry! I started paying more attention when we shopped, and at first would let her know we don\u2019t need what she put in the cart, but that would sometimes lead to \u201cunhappiness,\u201d so I would just put the item back on the shelf when she wasn\u2019t watching. Most of the shopping now is done when a caregiver stays with her. I\u2019m not one that likes to \u201cshop.\u201d Rather, I got to buy what I need and get out of the store. There are times when I reflect on the \u201cgood \u2018ol days\u201d when Pam would drive to the store and do all of the shopping.<\/p>\n
In January 2023, after family discussions and advice of her primary physician, she started additional testing including oral memory tests, blood work and brain scan over a period of several months. The waiting time was a bit long to see the neurologist, so that was in July. I thought it interesting that I could surmise what the diagnosis was by looking at her patient portal in advance of the appointment with the doctor. The new diagnosis was Alzheimer\u2019s. Labels don\u2019t really mean much. The official diagnosis does not change your experiences in dealing with it.<\/p>\n
I am going to revert back to the spring of 2011, or 3 years prior to us noticing Pam\u2019s memory loss. That was the year our daughter and son in law, Sarah and Butch Midgett opened a retail toy store in Nags Head, NC. Pam and I help them prepare the store doing some painting and using our truck and trailer to deliver store fixtures. Their grand opening was in April and sometime in the summer they asked if we would portray Santa and Mrs. Claus after Thanksgiving. Why not? We both had the right hair color! They rented the outfits so the Saturday after Thanksgiving we were the Claus couple for about 4 hours. We enjoyed it so they purchased the outfits for us for 2012. Over the next several years we wore the suits at the toy store and a few events in Craven and Pamlico Counties. We purchased new outfits and had a great time. Pam was an excellent Mrs. Claus, with children reaching for her when they were too frightened to go to that scary Santa.<\/p>\n
About 2016 we noticed changes in how she portrayed Mrs. Claus as she would be vocal, times if a child was not behaving or if one in diapers needed a diaper change. Let\u2019s just say Mrs. Claus was not very jolly at times. Santa is supposed to be a jolly old elf and Mrs. Claus is expected to be so as well. In 2017 Santa was solo at the toy store while our son took Pam out for lunch and shopping. It might not sound like a big deal but that took an emotional toll on me because it forced me to realize things will never be the same. We were Santa & Mrs. Claus in downtown New Bern for a couple of years as part of Beary Merry Christmas, but her last year there was 2022. While I no longer go downtown, I continue as Santa at churches, community events, an occasional parade and home visits. The kids help out a lot in the Christmas season taking care of their Mom, and when they cannot I depend on paid workers or volunteers to stay with her.<\/p>\n
The combination of looking like Santa even without the red suit during the Christmas season and dementia adds a bit more pressure. Santa is expected to be jolly at all times with no exceptions, so when things get challenging out in public, one needs to be aware of who may be watching! It\u2019s hard to exclaim \u201cHo-Ho-Ho\u201d while gritting your teeth!<\/p>\n
Next month we\u2019ll write about the challenges with the care-giving issue.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Chronicling The Battle With Dementia Author:\u00a0 Jerry Schill I ended last month\u2019s post with Pam \u201csurrendering\u201d her car keys, which means I\u2019m now a chauffeur for shopping, doctor appointments, and so on. Getting groceries was an interesting experience as she … Continue reading