{"id":249,"date":"2008-11-01T12:07:59","date_gmt":"2008-11-01T12:07:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.rightwinggranny.com\/?p=249"},"modified":"2008-11-01T12:07:59","modified_gmt":"2008-11-01T12:07:59","slug":"sometimes_i_love_my_email","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.rightwinggranny.com\/?p=249","title":{"rendered":"Sometimes I Love My Email"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I don&#8217;t know the person this originally came from.&nbsp; I hope it&#8217;s not copyrighted, but it was too funny not to share.<\/p>\n<div class=\"MsoNormal\"><strong><b><u><font face=\"Arial\" size=\"2\"><span style=\"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial\">Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?<\/span><\/font><\/u><\/b><\/strong><font face=\"Arial\" size=\"2\"><span style=\"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial\"><\/p>\n<p><strong><b><font face=\"Arial\"><span style=\"FONT-FAMILY: Arial\">SARAH PALIN:<\/span><\/font><\/b><\/strong>&nbsp; Before it got to the other side, I shot the chicken, cleaned and dressed it, and had chicken burgers for lunch.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong><b><font face=\"Arial\"><span style=\"FONT-FAMILY: Arial\">BARACK OBAMA<\/span><\/font><\/b><\/strong>:&nbsp; The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span class=\"yshortcuts\"><span id=\"lw_1225380201_0\"><b><span style=\"FONT-WEIGHT: bold\">JOHN MC CAIN<\/span><\/span><\/b><\/span>:&nbsp; My friends that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the <span id=\"lw_1225380201_1\"><span class=\"yshortcuts\">other side of the road<\/span><\/span>.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong><b><font face=\"Arial\"><span style=\"FONT-FAMILY: Arial\">HILLARY CLINTON<\/span><\/font><\/b><\/strong>:&nbsp; When I was <span id=\"lw_1225380201_2\"><span class=\"yshortcuts\">First Lady<\/span><\/span>, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road.&nbsp; But then, this really isn&#8217;t about me.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span class=\"yshortcuts\"><span id=\"lw_1225380201_3\"><b><span style=\"FONT-WEIGHT: bold\">GEORGE W. BUSH<\/span><\/span><\/b><\/span>:&nbsp; We don&#8217;t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not.&nbsp; The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span class=\"yshortcuts\"><span id=\"lw_1225380201_4\"><b><span style=\"FONT-WEIGHT: bold\">DICK CHENEY<\/span><\/span><\/b><\/span>:&nbsp; Where&#8217;s my gun?&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span class=\"yshortcuts\"><span id=\"lw_1225380201_5\"><b><span style=\"FONT-WEIGHT: bold\">COLIN POWELL<\/span><\/span><\/b><\/span>:&nbsp; Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.<\/p>\n<p><strong><b><font face=\"Arial\"><span style=\"FONT-FAMILY: Arial\"><span id=\"lw_1225380201_6\">BILL<\/span><\/span><\/font><\/b><\/strong><span class=\"yshortcuts\"> <\/span><strong><b><font face=\"Arial\"><span style=\"FONT-FAMILY: Arial\">CLINTON<\/span><\/font><\/b><\/strong>:&nbsp; I did not cross the road with that chicken.&nbsp; What is your definition of chicken?&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span id=\"lw_1225380201_7\"><strong><b><font face=\"Arial\"><span style=\"FONT-FAMILY: Arial\">AL<\/span><\/font><\/b><\/strong><span class=\"yshortcuts\"> <\/span><strong><b><font face=\"Arial\"><span style=\"FONT-FAMILY: Arial\">GORE<\/span><\/span><\/font><\/b><\/strong>:&nbsp; I invented the chicken.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong><b><font face=\"Arial\"><span style=\"FONT-FAMILY: Arial\">JOHN<\/span><\/font><\/b><\/strong> <strong><b><font face=\"Arial\"><span style=\"FONT-FAMILY: Arial\">KERRY<\/span><\/font><\/b><\/strong>:&nbsp; Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken&#8217;s intentions.<br \/>I am not for it now and will remain against it.<\/p>\n<p><strong><b><font face=\"Arial\"><span style=\"FONT-FAMILY: Arial\"><span id=\"lw_1225380201_8\">AL<\/span><\/span><\/font><\/b><\/strong><span class=\"yshortcuts\"> <\/span><strong><b><font face=\"Arial\"><span style=\"FONT-FAMILY: Arial\">SHARPTON<\/span><\/font><\/b><\/strong>:&nbsp; Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.<\/p>\n<p><strong><b><font face=\"Arial\"><span style=\"FONT-FAMILY: Arial\">DR<\/span><\/font><\/b><\/strong>. <strong><b><font face=\"Arial\"><span style=\"FONT-FAMILY: Arial\">PHIL<\/span><\/font><\/b><\/strong>:&nbsp; The problem we have here is that this chicken doe realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the <span id=\"lw_1225380201_9\"><span class=\"yshortcuts\">other side of the road<\/span><\/span>.<br \/>What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he&#8217;s acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong><b><font face=\"Arial\"><span style=\"FONT-FAMILY: Arial\">OPRAH<\/span><\/font><\/b><\/strong>:&nbsp; Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I&#8217; m going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.<\/p>\n<p><strong><b><font face=\"Arial\"><span style=\"FONT-FAMILY: Arial\"><span id=\"lw_1225380201_10\" style=\"BACKGROUND-POSITION: 0% 0%; BACKGROUND-ATTACHMENT: scroll; CURSOR: hand\">ANDERSON<\/span><\/span><\/font><\/b><\/strong><span class=\"yshortcuts\"> <\/span><strong><b><font face=\"Arial\"><span style=\"FONT-FAMILY: Arial\">COOPER<\/span><\/font><\/b><\/strong>, <strong><b><font face=\"Arial\"><span style=\"FONT-FAMILY: Arial\">CNN<\/span><\/font><\/b><\/strong>: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.<\/p>\n<p><strong><b><font face=\"Arial\"><span style=\"FONT-FAMILY: Arial\">NANCY<\/span><\/font><\/b><\/strong> <strong><b><font face=\"Arial\"><span style=\"FONT-FAMILY: Arial\">GRACE<\/span><\/font><\/b><\/strong>:&nbsp; That chicken crossed the road because he&#8217;s guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.<\/p>\n<p><strong><b><font face=\"Arial\"><span style=\"FONT-FAMILY: Arial\">PAT<\/span><\/font><\/b><\/strong> <strong><b><font face=\"Arial\"><span style=\"FONT-FAMILY: Arial\">BUCHANAN<\/span><\/font><\/b><\/strong>:&nbsp; To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.<\/p>\n<p><strong><b><font face=\"Arial\"><span style=\"FONT-FAMILY: Arial\">MARTHA<\/span><\/font><\/b><\/strong> <strong><b><font face=\"Arial\"><span style=\"FONT-FAMILY: Arial\">STEWART<\/span><\/font><\/b><\/strong>:&nbsp; No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going.&nbsp; I had a standing order at the Farmer&#8217;s Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level.&nbsp; No little bird gave me any insider information.<\/p>\n<p><strong><b><font face=\"Arial\"><span style=\"FONT-FAMILY: Arial\">DR<\/span><\/font><\/b><\/strong> <strong><b><font face=\"Arial\"><span style=\"FONT-FAMILY: Arial\">SEUSS<\/span><\/font><\/b><\/strong>:&nbsp; Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I&#8217;ve not been told.<\/p>\n<p><strong><b><font face=\"Arial\"><span style=\"FONT-FAMILY: Arial\">ERNEST<\/span><\/font><\/b><\/strong> <strong><b><font face=\"Arial\"><span style=\"FONT-FAMILY: Arial\">HEMINGWAY<\/span><\/font><\/b><\/strong>: To die in the rain, alone.<\/p>\n<p><strong><b><font face=\"Arial\"><span style=\"FONT-FAMILY: Arial\">GRANDPA<\/span><\/font><\/b><\/strong>:&nbsp; In my day we didn&#8217;t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.<\/p>\n<p><strong><b><font face=\"Arial\"><span style=\"FONT-FAMILY: Arial\">BARBARA<\/span><\/font><\/b><\/strong> <strong><b><font face=\"Arial\"><span style=\"FONT-FAMILY: Arial\">WALTERS<\/span><\/font><\/b><\/strong>:&nbsp; Isn&#8217;t that interesting?&nbsp; In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.<\/p>\n<p><strong><b><font face=\"Arial\"><span style=\"FONT-FAMILY: Arial\">ARISTOTLE<\/span><\/font><\/b><\/strong>:&nbsp; It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.<\/p>\n<p><strong><b><font face=\"Arial\"><span style=\"FONT-FAMILY: Arial\">JOHN<\/span><\/font><\/b><\/strong> <strong><b><font face=\"Arial\"><span style=\"FONT-FAMILY: Arial\">LENNON<\/span><\/font><\/b><\/strong>:&nbsp; Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.<\/p>\n<p><strong><b><font face=\"Arial\"><span sty\nle=\"FONT-FAMILY: Arial\">BILL<\/span><\/font><\/b><\/strong> <strong><b><font face=\"Arial\"><span style=\"FONT-FAMILY: Arial\">GATES<\/span><\/font><\/b><\/strong>:&nbsp; I have just released eChicken 2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.&nbsp; Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken 2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash or need to be rebooted.<\/p>\n<p><strong><b><font face=\"Arial\"><span style=\"FONT-FAMILY: Arial\">ALBERT<\/span><\/font><\/b><\/strong> <strong><b><font face=\"Arial\"><span style=\"FONT-FAMILY: Arial\">EINSTEIN<\/span><\/font><\/b><\/strong>:&nbsp; Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?<\/p>\n<p><strong><b><font face=\"Arial\"><span style=\"FONT-FAMILY: Arial\">COLONEL<\/span><\/font><\/b><\/strong> <strong><b><font face=\"Arial\"><span style=\"FONT-FAMILY: Arial\">SANDERS<\/span><\/font><\/b><\/strong>:&nbsp; Did I miss one?<\/span><\/font><\/div>\n<div class=\"MsoNormal\"><font face=\"Arial\" size=\"2\"><span style=\"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial\">&nbsp;<\/span><\/font><\/div>\n<div class=\"MsoNormal\"><em><i><font face=\"Dutch801 XBd BT\" color=\"navy\" size=\"3\"><span style=\"FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: 'Dutch801 XBd BT'\">Beverly A. Brouillette<\/span><\/font><\/i><\/em><strong><b><font face=\"Bookman Old Style\" color=\"red\" size=\"2\"><span style=\"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 'Bookman Old Style'\"> <\/span><\/font><\/b><\/strong><\/div>\n<div class=\"MsoNormal\"><strong><b><font face=\"Bookman Old Style\" color=\"red\" size=\"2\"><span style=\"FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: red; FONT-FAMILY: 'Bookman Old Style'\">Sr. PCB Designer<\/span><\/font><\/b><\/strong><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I don&#8217;t know the person this originally came from.&nbsp; I hope it&#8217;s not copyrighted, but it was too funny not to share. Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? SARAH PALIN:&nbsp; Before it got to the other side, I shot &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.rightwinggranny.com\/?p=249\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-249","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rightwinggranny.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/249","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rightwinggranny.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rightwinggranny.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rightwinggranny.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rightwinggranny.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=249"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.rightwinggranny.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/249\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rightwinggranny.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=249"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rightwinggranny.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=249"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rightwinggranny.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=249"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}