A New Dimension In First World Problems

On January 20, The Pacific Sun posted an article warning California motorists to be aware of the ‘staring coyote.’

The article reports:

A coyote has taken to staring down automobile drivers as they drive through this twisting, turning section of highway, before attacking the car and then skulking off back into the wilderness. The coyote runs up to the cars, usually at night, forcing drivers to stop as the beast stares and sniffs around the vehicle.

…the latest grist out of Bolinas has it that there are now two coyotes acting a little weird, or a lot weird: Drive-by coyote stare-downs have now become part of the normative experience for a Bolinas-based individual who makes numerous nighttime airport runs every week. We are not identifying this individual, who fears retribution at the vengeful paws of these bushy-tailed beasts. He would only say, “It’s a terrifying, yet beautiful thing to behold.”

The Marin Humane Society has fielded at least one inquiry from a coyote-concerned citizen and is looking into the case of the aggressive coyote, says Lisa Bloch, director of marketing and communications for the society. “We are trying to figure this out.”

At present there are three basic theories as to what is causing the coyotes to act strangely. The first is rabies, which has been ruled out due to the lack of rabies in the area and due to the fact that the stare-downs have gone on for three weeks (rabies would have killed an animal within a week). The second possibility is more interesting.

The article reports:

It is possible, but not probable, that the coyote has eaten something—perhaps a fly agaric mushroom (amanita muscaria) which has hallucinogenic properties—and has subsequently been tripping its tail off. The cars would therefore be some sort of coyote vision, a dark vision of human interlopers, who must be stopped before the rents get any higher in West Marin. That would be kind of cool.

Bloch could not completely rule out the possibility that coyotes are having psychedelic experiences out on the feral fringes of civilization, and in fact she has been counseling dog owners of late on the dangers of poisonous mushrooms in our midst.

The last possibility is that someone has been feeding the coyotes. This is a really bad idea. When coyotes lose their fear of humans, bad things happen–animals and humans become vulnerable to attack.

Anyway, the thought of a bunch of coyotes wandering around California stoned out of their minds does paint an interesting picture. It seems to me that they might fit right in.